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I looked deep into Clarissa?s eyes. We were breathing hard, have both just exploded into orgasms. I dropped my face down and kissed her softly, then I started moving my hips again, feeling her tight wetness hugging my turgid member. I loved her deeply, and making love was the extension of our intimacy. Her hand went to the back of my neck, gently stroking that sensitive area as her lips found my carotid artery, her tongue flicking out as she licked that area. She knew all my sensitive spots. I lowered my thrusts just a little and she gasped in appreciation.This action was reserved for round two when we had finished our frenzy. Now I was caressing her g-spot, and it would last longer. I knew she would make me bleed with her nails soon as the pleasure starts to ravish her. Clarissa knew that round two was for her. I rarely had a massive orgasm, but her soft mewling was my reward. I felt her wrap her legs around mine and I knew it was starting for her. Her body started to move with mine again and her free hand dropped to my butt as she pulled my face to hers again, her lips hungrily hunting mine. Her other hand dropped to my butt as well and she started to pull me into her.Her orgasm grew, then hit her. She groaned loudly into my mouth. Now I focussed and worked hard to keep her on the high with my targeted thrusts. If I get it right, she will have a twenty-minute orgasm with distinct peaks. I got it right, and I finally felt mine hit me. Clarissa held me against her as her pleasure center milked every last drop out of me. We would stay like this for up to an hour, enjoying the intimacy and the way the tension would flow out of us. We had stressful jobs and this was what we did, apart from outdoor activities like mountain biking and trail running.Clarissa was an intern at a military hospital in Maryland and she saw some horrific things. She had a fiery personality with her raven hair and blue eyes. She was slim-built and stood at five-eight. I was five-eleven and carried almost no fat. I was well defined, but not muscular by most standards. My job was tricky. I worked for an agency. I would be called a problem solver by most, except my preferred tool would be some form of weapon. I knew Clarissa sometimes felt bothered by the secrecy, as I have never been able to reveal anything about my job to her. But she trusted me and told me that regularly. She had no idea how dangerous my job often was when I was not analyzing reports.We were talking about the menu for a get-together on the weekend when she groaned loudly. My phone had buzzed.?Dammit, JJ. It is after nine,? she muttered. JJ was short for Joshua Jameson, my real name.?I am so sorry, Clari. They would not contact me if it was not important.??It is just a little irritating.?I did not miss the cloud that passed behind her eyes. I needed to get her cleared for more information, but for that, I needed to formalize our relationship, like a ring. I had no problem proposing to her as she had not unsettled me in the two years we had been together. And then I loved every single part of her body too. Even her fiery temper turned me on. She was the opposite of my sanguine temperament.I checked the message, they needed me ASAP. The message was a simple ?Can we meet.?It purposely looked like normal texting in case my phone is compromised. I kissed Clarissa deeply, apologized then got up. I dressed as there was no time to shower. I opted for the Yamaha superbike as the traffic would be light and I could get there faster. It seemed a person of interest had surfaced and was now a suspect. I needed to confirm in person. An hour later I was on a plane to Germany, reading floorplans of the villa the target had rented.?See you soon.? I texted Clarissa. She knew it could mean days or minutes.?Fine.?Her terse reply was disconcerting. I called Samantha, my handler.?Sam, I need to settle Clarissa. Can I formalize the relationship, or do you have concerns???If that is what you want, then do it. I hope I am invited.??Of course, you are, with Dylan and the kids.??He hates weddings, but he will make an exception for yours.?Samantha?s husband was an artist. His formal training was as an architect, but his designs were pure art. I loved visiting them and looking through his drawings. He would stand to one side and nod as I highlighted features I liked. They were my friends, and I hoped they would be Clarissa?s. The mission went well, and I confirmed the target was a danger through information I found in the villa. I dealt with him and flew home. Weapons-grade anthrax should not be available on the black market at all.The rest of the week, I browsed for engagement rings, settling for a promise ring to ask her with. I knew I will not get it exactly right. Saturday Ankara bayan escort evening at the get-together with her colleagues, I proposed, going down on one knee. Clarissa said yes, and she was happy. The crowd was not my type at all, but they were her friends. I did not like the arrogance I sometimes saw. I wrote it off as the God complex people often say doctors had. I also sensed that they looked down on me, seeing me as lesser educated. None knew I spoke seven languages, eight if you count sign language. This I learned because Rebecca, one of my co-workers was deaf.Clarissa settled down into our engagement, but I noticed her increased irritation when I was called in. Samantha was working hard on her background checks. We met with her friends once a month, and three months after we got engaged, a new friend joined us. His name was Chad and he was the IT specialist they used at the hospital. He was good-looking and the girls in the group vied for his attention. Clarissa never did, not where I could see it in any case. The week after I met him, Clarissa asked to see my phone.?Sorry, Clari. You are not allowed to as you do not have the clearance,? I answered gently.This did piss her off and she started to give me the cold shoulder regularly. I knew she was struggling with my lack of transparency. We were still intimate, but she started to shorten the intimacy we used to have after sex, often pushing at my chest before I could orgasm. I tried speaking to her, but she kept telling me that it is not true, that nothing had changed. Then she hit me with the ?I think you are cheating? conversation.?Why?? I asked, shocked.?You are secretive, Joshua. You hide your life from me. I have not met your friends, not even one.??I am not cheating. You are the only one for me,? I tried but it went nowhere good.We had an almighty row that night, which put me on the couch to keep the peace. I noticed her texting more, and taking calls away from me. I was at a loss now, and we did not have sex for almost three weeks. She rejected all my advances and it pissed me off. I asked her if wanted to break the engagement, which seemed to make her change a little. I started to get more hugs and smiles, but still no intimacy. She started to stay later after work, saying she went for dinner or drinks with her friends. It made me uneasy, to say the least.At the next party, things went very wrong. I was preparing the grill for burgers, and she was deep-frying handmade fries for us. Her friends were in the kitchen, and she started again.?I think you are being unfaithful,? she said in front of her friends.?Can we do this later?? I asked.?NO!? she yelled, ?Tell me the truth! All my friends agree that you are being suspect!??Well, you are all wrong,? I said calmly.They all started laying into me, telling me that they believe I am lying. Clarissa was crying and I felt my anger rise. I walked outside to grill the burgers, and for some peace. I took a beer, wondering if this was where I take my ring back. The disrespect was not what I expected from her at any time. I finished a batch and walked back inside. They were in the lounge, and I walked there. My heart dropped for two reasons. Clarissa and Chad were sitting very close to each other on the couch, and she smiled softly at him. She gave me a smug look.?I knew you were cheating,? she grinned viciously and her friends piled into me again.The bigger problem was that they had my phone and Chad clearly had hacked it as the messages were displayed on the television. She was reading the texts from Samantha out loud. I rushed over and she tried to yank it away, but I pinned her and took my phone.?You should not have done that, Chad,? I growled as I straightened up. He lost his smile in a flash.?I asked him to. I knew you were cheating. Who the fuck is Samantha?? Clarissa said loudly.?I am done discussing this,? I said as I walked outside.I called Sam.?Sam, my phone has been compromised. Some cunt called Chad hacked it on Clarissa?s instruction. I think they are fucking as well,? I said. I sensed Clarissa behind me.?Yes, you cheating fuck. I am fucking Chad. The pain sucks, doesn?t it,? Clarissa said with a cold tone.I saw her relish the pain that hit me and she turned into the kitchen. I followed her, fighting for control. It was over as far as I was concerned. Infidelity could lead to compromise. But my heart was shattered. Clarissa was at the stove as if nothing happened. She was removing a batch, and Chad stood next to her, his smug look back.?I want my ring, and then I want you out of my house, Clarissa,? I matched her cold tone, and she turned to me.?You can get out, Joshua. I am staying here, and so is Chad. The ring is mine now.??I Escort bayan Ankara will not ask again. Ring, and pack. It is my house. Get the fuck out or meet the dark side.??Bud, she told you to fuck off, so do it,? Chad said as he stepped forward. The rest of the friends were piling in as well, some recording on their phones.?Step back, Chad,? I growled.He did not and threw a punch. I sidestepped him easily and punched him out. The rest of the guys seemed to not be interested in more as I looked at them. Then I sensed movement from Clarissa, followed by searing pain. I heard someone scream, realizing it was me. The left side of my body all the way to my face was on fire and I screamed again as I fell, then blacked out.***I woke to the smell of a hospital, then screaming. It was still me, then I passed out again. I woke again, this time the presence of painkillers was evident. I heard Clarissa speaking.?Please Joshy. Please wake up. I am so sorry. Please wake up so I can tell you.??Get away from me,? I tried saying but I had no voice.I opened my eyes and saw her tear-streaked face. *My left side was in pain and I could not turn my head. The nurse and my doctor came in and pushed her away as they started to check me. The pain was excruciating.?We have you on the maximum dosage,? the doctor answered my unasked question.Then I heard Sam?s voice, soothing a sobbing Clarissa. It was obvious she was lied to. The doctor started a count so I could tell him where the pain level was. I nodded at ten out of ten.?We have you in a head brace, as the skin on your neck is gone. You have to try and not turn your head until we are sure the carotid is intact,? the doctor informed me.?You have third-degree burns on the left side of your body and face,? The nurse added softly. I could feel exactly where those burns were. They finished and Samantha joined me.?What were you thinking, messing around with boiling oil. You can be grateful you had a house full of medical professionals.?I started to cry, my heart shattered. I wondered how long they took to decide if they wanted to help me, including the bitch.?Joshua, we arrested Chad. Clarissa gave him up. She is not in the clear, but we are looking at her involvement.??Joshy, I am so sorry. I understand now,? Clarissa added.I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, trying to make a sound. I tried to speak but there was no sound. Samantha bowed down to my mouth.?Get? her? out?. of? here,? I hissed.?You want Clarissa out?? Samantha confirmed, and I nodded.Samantha told Clarissa to leave, and I fell asleep again. It was dark when I woke again, and Clarissa was back, still begging for forgiveness. I kept my eyes closed.?I will spend the rest of my life begging for forgiveness, Joshy,? she whispered.?Why? not? just? leave?? I tried.?I could not believe you would cheat, even if the evidence said so. The problem was that I believed everybody but you,??Why? are? you? here???I will not leave you. I will not expect you to love me again, and I do not deserve it. Please allow me to stay until you are better. I beg you.?I had a feeling she would not leave in any case, so I nodded.***They started to prepare me for skin grafts. I realized Clarissa had moved to the hospital, doing her shifts and taking every break with me. Her features were gaunt with sunken eyes. I never saw her with food and I could see her lose what little weight she had. This was not me. I was not into revenge, so I forced her to eat by telling her I will forbid her my room if she does not. My voice had come back, but it was raspy. I screamed a lot when they changed bandages. In some places, I had no skin left. The first graft was from my butt, and they set it on my neck. It burned differently where they peeled the skin off. After a week, they were happy. I was looking at being discharged to a high-care facility.Clarissa begged me to let her take care of me, and then she confessed to Samantha that she had thrown me with the pot of boiling oil. I thought Sam would shoot her from pure rage. But Clarissa persisted, begging for the chance to take care of me. She told me she will stop eating again, and I capitulated against Sam?s wishes. I was moved home, where most of Clarissa?s friends were waiting. They worked out a roster to come to take care of me as their shifts did not line up. All of them cried as they begged for forgiveness.Samantha was also there, and she nodded her approval that I would always have at least two interns watching over me. I tried to smile when she stationed two marines in my house in full battle gear.The pain was fading, mostly. The pain in my heart stayed. My carers all slept in my bed, male and female. I had three more skin grafts and most Bayan escort Ankara of the bandages came off. Clarissa wanted to use a mirror to show me, but I declined.?I know I am hideous, so I am not interested.??Please, Joshua,? she cried, ?You can never be hideous.??I am, and I am a cheater, right???No, no. I know you are not. You never cheated.??Why are you so sure???The fact that Chad has vanished. The fact that Samantha did not show you any intimacy beyond the deep care of a friend. And the main fact is this. You would not do that. I was so stupid.??Yes, you were. I was working on getting you cleared so I could give you more information because I needed you.??Can you still do that???I do not want to. I cannot trust you.??I will work so hard to win it back.??I don?t want you to. You broke my heart. Why are you wearing my ring??Clarissa started to sob as she pulled the ring off. I asked her to hang it on the chain with my dog tags. I was gaining use of my left arm now, but the skin pulling when I moved it still hurt.Clarissa rubbed oils into the scars, taking care as the skin was hyper-sensitive. She slept next to me, and I watched the nightmares ravish her whenever she slept. I put my hand on her one night, and she calmed down immediately.Her leave had run out, and she went back to work. She rushed to me every afternoon when she got home.I hated what she had become. She was barely a shell of her former self, and I hated that it was partially because of me. I gave her more time, and I could see her spirit rise after that. Samantha sent me a shrink, even though I could start to move around. I started to deal with the permanence of my scars.It had been six weeks now, and Samantha sent Rebecca with work for me, mostly because I threatened to not behave. Rebecca would sweep the room, looking for devices. Then we would get into it. She recorded all my summations. None of what we did was above secret, but she still had an armed escort. I often saw Clarissa?s eyes flick to mine when Rebecca left the room when she arrived home. The care stopped, but Clarissa never moved out. I never told her to either. She improved mentally, but her guilt was taking a heavy toll on her.I made peace with the fact that I loved her once, and that I needed to make peace with what I might still feel. I started to work on my fitness again, hating the way the mirrors at the gym showed me how hideous I looked. At night when she was not at work, Clarissa would rub the oil into my scars. We had switched to tea-tree oil now. Clarissa was very gentle, and would almost always be sobbing by the time she finished. I did not miss the way she looked at the ring, sometimes stealing a quick touch. She slept on my left side now, as I could sleep on my right side again. I would wake with her sleeping against me, her shoulder against my back.We spoke a lot, her telling me of her day at the hospital. She started to notice the positive things again. I was confused by my feelings for her. She was definitely working very hard, but I was worried she was not getting better. I made a choice.?Clari, I forgive you. I need for you to move on and close this chapter of your life, so you can live.?She started to sob violently as she sat next to me on the couch. Then she reached for my hand, grabbing it with both of hers.?Joshy, I know what you are saying. But I am staying right here. Even if you never love me, I can never be with another. I also will not fight it if you have me charged with assault, because I deserve it.??Stop feeling guilty, I have set you free.?I saw her search for the words, still holding my hand. Her one hand started to gently stroke the scar tissue on my arm.?I love you. It is not guilt as much as it is love.??I cannot return it, Clari.??I did not ask you to return it. I am asking you to let me stay here, and to love you.??How would it work, when you get nothing from it???Your eyes still have a gentle look. You have not called me names, JJ. I get to care for you. It does sound convoluted, but am getting what I want from it.??What happened that night?? I asked softly.?I remember blind rage, and then I remember your scream and me holding the pot. It was an ungodly sound, and I knew I caused it. I tried to help you, but they kept me away from you, thinking I was going to hurt you more. I remember screaming your name over and over. I remember screaming that I was sorry.??Who called the ambulance???Someone, I am not sure. I hated myself in an instant because I became a monster that hurt the person I loved the most. I had to lie to Samantha so would let me be with you. The administration gave me time to sit with you. You would start screaming as your consciousness came back, and then pass out again. Your voice lasted a day, then it vanished. I will never forget the sound of your pain, ever.??You need to get into therapy.??I know,? she answered as she looked at me.?Here is the thing, I will not tolerate your penchant to self-harm if you want to stay. Get into therapy. Start eating properly. You are barely skin and bones,??How do you know??