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*quot;Learning More Each Day*quot;

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Marc and I had an enjoyable meal in the dining room of the 120 year old Blennerhassett Hotel. (I kid you not...that is the name of it!) I was in the mood for their prime rib and he wanted the chicken cordon bleu they were famous for. Our conversation ran the gamut of a few business things I needed to get with him on, and also ranged to his bathroom head job and my confession of having the hots for David the bartender. In many ways, he was the perfect mentor for me since he had been out since law school in his 20s and had the legal knowledge I needed trusted access to in order to manage the real estate portfolio I had inherited and built further since my parents were killed when I was a junior in college. Damn plane crash made me an orphan...a semi-rich one...but an orphan nonetheless!

My dad had been in the real estate business but more from an investor standpoint than anything. He and mom had owned a dozen single family rental houses and a nice 24 unit complex when they died. Being an only child, I ended up with it all, plus the river front house overlooking (what else) Blennerhassett Island. It was a huge temptation to just sell it all off and live on the cash; but I also not only knew better; but listened to other people that did too. No doubt at all that had I done that at 21 or 22, I would have been one broke-ass fucker by 25 at best. Instead I finished up my business degree at Ohio University in Athens and took some extra financial courses too, so I could expand what my parents had left me. With Marc as a legal advisor and trusted friend, I now felt as if I could do other new things too, perhaps.

The latest plan I had was to convert to commercial use and then double up the number of units of a 12 unit complex I had picked up last year out by interstate 77. It was originally built as one and two bedroom apartments, but the nature of that section of Seventh Street had gone to almost exclusively business and commercial over time, making them sometimes difficult to keep filled. Marc liked the idea of converting them to professional office space and the extra idea of expanding the walk-out basements to 8 or 10 more units with rear access. I joked that my other option was to turn the whole thing into a dirty bookstore with a couple hundred booths and go for the trucker trade!

Once we had gotten thru my latest dream deal, Marc steered me back towards the David issue. He said it was more than obvious that he had the hots for me in one way or another also, but was worried I was letting my groin get in the road of my brain.

*quot;You are the new meat and new meat WITH money dammit!*quot; was how he put it I believe. He then taught me unwritten rule
in a gay bar: bartenders like to get first dibs on new meat. *quot;Just don't set yourself up to get hurt...or fucked over.*quot; Marc knew that I sometimes had a heart far too big for my own good and tended to trust too easily. *quot;Look at the rep you have already at the Hut...half the bar has been in your pants one way and the other half wants in them the other!*quot;

*quot;HEY! That's not fair bro!*quot; I was a little taken back by the insinuation Marc had made at how promiscuous I had been.

*quot;Fair or not, it's the truth, Kurt.*quot; His eyes showed that he hadn't intended to be mean...just get my attention. *quot;You are a good looking man that doesn't show his age. The twinks think you are great because you buy them drinks and when you take one home, you protect THEIR rep by not bragging about it the next night like most guys do. So they in turn, protect YOUR rep too. Nobody is really certain how much you fuck around, but you do toss down the drink money too freely. It's the best of both worlds in some ways, and the worst in others, guy.*quot;

*quot;But Marc...*quot;

*quot;Don't even go there, Kurt! This is your new best friend you are talking to. I know you are getting more action by accident, than most all of us over 30, are bursa escort on purpose!*quot;

I blushed bad at that one. *quot;Am I really being THAT bad, Marc?*quot;

*quot;It's not a matter of being 'bad' Kurt. It's just a fact of life when you first come out and discover the smorgasbord that the bar can be. So you enjoy sex and aren't at that 'wanna settle down' stage yet. Just don't let it be too long or you end up like me. It's too easy to be like me...the Harry Hamlin character in *quot;Making Love*quot; that suddenly finds out at 34 or 35 that you DON'T get to choose who to go home with every night...and reduced to bathroom blow jobs from the Fred's of the world for human contact.*quot;

Marc got very quiet after that and so did I in thinking about what it was he was really trying to say. We didn't talk much more until after we were finishing our desserts and enjoying one last cup of coffee. I finally broke the ice with *quot;So, are you saying I shouldn't date David if that's what he wants to do?*quot;

*quot;Oh hell no. David is one of the few guys that is that young that isn't a total flake...he might be good for you in fact. Just don't let that heart get in the road because he is a bartender and you are a new conquest for him in a lot of ways. Have some fun with him if you want...I just wouldn't call it 'dating' until it's lasted more than a week or two.*quot; The wink he gave me at the end made me laugh.

*quot;Marc, you really don't think all you have left is...well...you know...like with Fred earlier...do you? You aren't that old that you aren't attractive to other guys still.*quot;

Marc laughed at me and then stated *quot;Why do you think I am on your ass about watching the biological clock, Kurt? You turn 30 in a few weeks and TRUST ME stud puppy...those 10 years between 30 and 40 will FLY by before you know it!*quot;

*quot;But you are only 38 or 39 aren't you?*quot; I honestly didn't know and had never asked him.

That elicited another chuckle from Marc. *quot;I wish! Baby...I have been 39 almost five times now! I turn 44 three weeks after you turn 30 bro.*quot; Another sip of his coffee and he added *quot;But thanks for the compliment.*quot;

*quot;Really? I thought you were still south of the big 4-0. That surprises me. I think you need to date more and settle down too then if that's what you think I should be doing.*quot;

*quot;Yeah, I probably should. Just not much of a selection at the Hut and the dating potential otherwise isn't great here in Closetburg, West-by-gawd-Virginny.*quot;

'Oh, but *I* am supposed to just get myself all fixed up so easy too?*quot;

*quot;You do have it easier because of your age and the looks that come with it. In fact...you haven't even noticed the waiter half flirting with you tonight, have you?*quot;

*quot;Huh?*quot; I know the look on my face duplicated that comment.

*quot;Uh huh. Watch when he come to clear the dessert plates and the way he plays to you instead of me...at least until he slips the bill in front of me and decides to work me for a tip anyway.*quot;

*quot;Am I that dense, Marc?*quot;

*quot;No...just a noob at it. Your gaydar works; just needs some fine tuning. You are having to learn so much about who you really are and at the same time the way things work on the rainbow side of the fence.*quot;

Before he could say more, his cell went off with a ring tone I had never heard before. I was left to ponder what Marc had said to me as I finished my coffee and he stepped away to deal with an important phone call from a retainer client.

*****

As I reflected back on my life, I had taken a typical but slightly less than normal path to dealing with my attraction to men. There had been some experimenting with circle jerks and such during summer boy scout camp. High school sleepovers with a couple of buddies tended to end up with; at minimum; some mutual whacking. I had lost my virginity to a big-titted cheerleader at 16 and always had dates for the prom