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THIS IS A REALLY LONG STORY WITH ACTUAL SEX AT THE END. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A QUICKIE, THIS ISN'T IT.

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Of course, all good things must eventually come to an end. In my case, that *quot;end*quot; came quickly and drastically.

My wife connected the dots between calling me at the hotel and not reaching me at several different ungodly hours, as well as Laura's incessant pestering about when we would all get together and see each other, and how much she enjoyed bumping into me in Washington, DC. Needless to say I denied everything, and continue doing so to this date, but my wife suspects.

I had been offered a consultancy in Mexico which would involve a weeklong stay in the capital, a week in Cancun, a week in Acapulco and a week in Ixtapa. At my wife's insistence, I had been putting it off and off, but now that she apparently thought she caught me with my hands in the cookie jar, she adopted a blasé attitude, and insisted a little time away from each other might be just what the doctor ordered.

I tied-up some loose ends at home and negotiated a great deal with the Mexican company.

The trip turned out to be fabulous, and indeed, just what the doctor ordered.

The first-class trip ended by being picked up in a limo and driven to the Four Seasons Hotel. Mexico City, as some of you know, is a HUGE place. I'm talking a population of more than 25 million people just in the city itself. The hotel is beautiful, but a little too downtownish, if you know what I mean. It's half a block off the major thoroughfare, and well, just a little too busy for me. Regardless, the room I was in, which was being paid by the Mexican company, was a US$495/night room. Again, gorgeous surroundings, excellent service and exquisite meals.

I settled in that evening, called home to say hello, and after reading a few pages of my book, I fell fast asleep. The next day was completely routine as I met the CEO and we got down to business. I met some nice people the first week and was invited to join a small group for happy hour on Friday evening. Totally uneventful, yet it allowed me to get out and about and gather my bearings.

I returned to the hotel with a slight buzz and alone. After I showered and got ready for bed, I surfed the channels and found some porn. As I laid down however, I decided to spice up my night by giving Nicky a call. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in a month, and although we e-mailed each other every now and then, I always kept the electronic correspondence as clean as possible, lest someone catch us.

As fate would have it, despite the hour time difference, she wasn't in her dorm room and I was reluctant to ring her cell phone and interrupt the fun I assumed she was having. Consequently, I watched an hour of porn, had a happy ending, and fell into a deep and relaxing eight-hour trance.

I did all the touristy stuff on Saturday and Sunday, read to my heart's content, and Monday flew off to Ixtapa.

The company I was *quot;working*quot; for booked me at La Casa Que Canta in Zihautenejo, a small fishing village outside the resort town of Ixtapa. What a hotel! I mean WOW! The view was breathtaking, the lay out extraordinary, and the service